Little did we know, but our well-travelled correspondant Poony Poon apparently had done an exclusive face to face interview with none other than Jeff Weaver while he was still a Dodger (more on that later) and before his ERA hit 13.91, which of course is the year that the great anti-Jewish riots of Toledo, Barcelona took place. Much more appropriately, it's (also, according to my sources), the year that toilet paper was invented. It seems a highly appropriate symbolic/numerologic commonality for the moment, because a growing number of Mariners observers, watching Weavers 0-3 start, seem to want to Charmin him away like so many dingleberries. Clearly, Weaver is not a phantom wipe situation.
I wrote before the season that the additions of Weaver, Horacio Ramirez and Miguel Batista behind Hernandez and Jarrod Washburn made the Mariners rotation better than any time since 2003....And here's what Geoff Baker found out:
In the sweep by the Angels, a team that had scored the fewest runs in the American League entering the weekend, Batista gave up six runs in six innings, Ramirez six runs in four and Weaver three runs in three. They are part of a well-rested rotation that soon must start squeezing in five makeup games.
Weaver's early departure was startling. Manager Mike Hargrove flat-out admitted he couldn't take it anymore, despite the fact that the game was far from decided. "I didn't see it getting better and didn't want to put the club in a hole any more than we were," he told reporters afterward.Hargrove was so desperate to win a game April 22 that he risked the fragile psyche of Weaver by jerking him in front of his hometown friends, family and former team, which abandoned him last year.
Think Weaver will be ready to rock against K.C. on Friday?
"He'd given up seven hits and three runs in three innings and I didn't see it getting any better," Mariners manager Mike Hargrove said of Weaver. "And the way we've been going and scoring runs late, I just didn't want to put the ballclub in the hole any more than we already were that early in the game."But here's what Poony Poon discovered, back before Weaver made the scene in the great Northwest:
Weaver declined to be interviewed after the game, telling a media relations representative it "wouldn't be a good idea."
Jeff, you just got Pwned. The moral of the story is clear. Once again it just goes to show you that Bill Bavasi is incompetant and can't even get his underlings to do his homework for him. If they had looked up Poony's interview, if they had looked up his stats with the Yankees, we would never be in this mess.
Poony: Everyone agrees you can throw the shit out of a baseball, Jeff, and when they see you in warmups, wow, the ball has pop and it has movement. Then you get in a game and you're completely embarrasing. To you. To your team. To your home town. To your family. To your entire country. Why is that?
Weaver: Poony, do you like teddy bears?
Poony: Jeff, I'm sorry, but I'm here on assignment for Jim Lefebvre and I have a job to do. He needs to know if you're a head case or not. So you tell me, what is going on upstairs? I mean, come on, Private Pyle, what is your major malfunction?
Weaver: You know what, kid? I don't have to take this shit. Let's see you throw the ball on a dime when you've got bankers all over you, you've got four mortgages, your accountant played backup point guard on your high school basketball team and suckered you into a lifetime contract, you bough a shitload of Wal-Mart stock at its 52 week high, the hotel you're living in doesn't have Poland Spring in the minibar, and on top of that your brother is but a child but already a better pitcher than you. You ever tried that shit, Poony? Have you? No, so shut up and get out.
Poony: Can I quote you on that?