Monday, April 02, 2007

All Your Slogan Are Belong to Us

In honor of Opening Day (TM, all rights reserved, lsmft), and the fact that the Yankees are, as per norm, playing the weak cheese Devil Rays, it's time for our first annual roundup of official team slogans (in point of fact, this is something we've been doing for awhile, just not publicly). These are all plucked from home pages. Submissions for further slogans not so obviously made known are more than welcome.

Here they are, along with snarky comments when they occur to us:

Astros: Return of the good guys
(Inference: last year's team sucked. Now it's 2005 time -- time to get crushed in the WS)
Blue Jays: It's always game time
(I don't understand what that means. Most of the time it's not.)
Braves: Welcome to the bigs.
(Friendly message to rooks. They don't seem to be starting any, but obvs. have high hopes for Sept.)
D-Rays: More than just a game.
(Clearly. The game has little to do with this ongoing trainwreck.)
Dodgers: Think Blue. or It's Time for Dodger Baseball
Giants: Your Giants
(In case you were wondering.)
Marlins: You gotta be here!
(Because nobody else is. Marlins 2006 average attendance rank: 30 out of 30. The Yankees outdrew them 3 to 1.)
Mets: Your season has come.
(David Wright plucks his eyebrows!)
Nats: Pledge your allegiance.
(I kind of like this one)
Rangers: You could use some baseball.
(Are you looking to get made fun of? This is too easy.)
Reds: C you there.
(Fucking lame. Who the hell are the marketing people there? Did Griff get Kid Sensation a job in the PR department? )
Rockies: GenRation.
(? elucidate, please)
Royals: True. Blue. Tradition.
(Some tradition...$11 million a year for a career 4.45 ERA pitcher?)
Tigers: Who's your Tiger?
(Neifi Perez)
White Sox: Back to the grind.
(Is this some kind of pun on coffee? Does Howard Schultz own this team now? Cf: Cincinnati Reds)
Seattle Mariners: A churning nightmare of death full of questions without answers!
(First pitch three and a half hours away!)

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