Thursday, April 05, 2007

In Fifteen Hundred and Forty-Three

In 1543, Henry VIII married Catherine, his sixth wife. Martin Luther published On Jews and their Lies, a charming title from a small publisher about how the houses and books and schools and synagogues of the Jews should be disposed with post haste. Huge sleeper potential on this one, with a grass roots push, it could hit the Powell's list fast. Meanwhile, Copernicus published De Revolutionibus Orbium Coelestium, a coffee table book about how the sun, rather than the earth, is the center of the universe. Ptolemy rolled over in his grave and great controversy ensued, but man, Costco couldn't keep that book on the discount table!

But for me, I'd have to say the best best thing about 1543 is that it totally matches Miguel Batista's ERA as of his first outing! Man that guy can pitch! Balk, too!

Here's his line:

15.43 A.D.

Said Geoff Baker of the Blethen Times of his outing:
Batista's pitches looked like dogs -- very fast dogs -- that had just broken free of their leashes.
The P.I.'s Greg Johns put it another way:
So flummoxed was the Dominican native that he said he had no idea why he was called twice for balks, one of which forced in a run, after stepping back off the rubber.
And then went on to point out that Batista is a liar. Batista tells him that "I haven't made a balk in 19 years." Baker does due diligence and discovers that "the balks were actually the fourth and fifth of his big league career."

Cap on you, Miguel.

For those of you who need a clearer picture of the Waste Land that swept across Safeco last night, we turn to the Associated Press's Gregg Bell:

APRIL is the cruellest month, breeding Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing Memory and desire, stirring Dull roots with spring rain. Conversely, how miserable was Miguel Batista's 4 2-3-inning Mariners debut? Eight runs allowed. Ten hits. Two balks. Dodging of line drives hit right at him -- plus one he didn't dodge that stung his left foot. He continually turned to watch drives bang off outfield walls. And he backed up home plate seven times as runners scored.

The one time he didn't backup home, Mike Piazza scored on Batista's first balk. The 36-year-old former Diamondback started and then stopped his throwing motion during Oakland's five-run second inning.

Goonight Bill. Goonight Lou. Goonight May. Goonight. Ta ta. Goonight. Goonight. Good night, ladies, good night, sweet ladies, good night, good night.

Datta. Dayadhvam. Damyata.

Miguel, when cornered by on the spot Rags correspondant Poony Poon in the locker room, turned to the good book -- his -- for an appropriate quotable:
"My, that was rather a churning nightmare of death full of questions without answers wasn't it?"
The good news here of course is that a local boy got playing time. Sean White, of Mercer Island (he loves Quin Snyder and his singing voice), did some fine mop up work. And I think I can speak for all of us when I say that it's far more important to have people from Washington state on this team than to win an excessive, even unseemly, number of ballgames. It just wouldn't be Windermere, now would it?

(eds: actually a photo of Madison Park. Jews and their Lies again.)

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