Monday, May 21, 2007

Messi: ARod has Crabs


Last night the Rags staff had the lucky chance to go see the Subway series in action. This involved enjoying a lovely night in Flushing and also the Mets apparently not bothering to try that hard. Guess they'd won the series and have the Braves to think about or some such stuff.

Not the world's most exciting game, but it had its moments, and by far the most thrilling (except for Darryl Strawberry bailing on the game after the sixth inning while Matt Dillon stayed to the bitter end, was having a down the barrel of the gun view of Alex Rodriguez (un)manning third base, intent stare on his facial-hair free mug. And constantly, constantly, after every single pitch, the guy grabs his own groin. Pulls at it, tugs it, twists, touches, holds -- it's like a personal security blanket. He's the Linus van Pelt of ball fiddling.

Our staff didn't have the attention span to really keep up with the action, and we prohibited Poony from watching, but I got Lionel Messi, who was utterly confused by the game, to spend the bottom of the 8th just fixating on ARod's crotch. The result:

"Que cosa, che. El tipo agarro su pito 21 veces. Que le pasa?"
Translation: 21 groin grabs in one half inning.

21 GROIN GRABS!!

Statistical analysis:
21 GGs x 9 innings = 189 GGs per game

Is this the equivalent of a pitch count situation? If ARod breaks 200 GGs, will they pull him?
Or is he too busy pulling himself? Har har!

THIS JUST IN: AROD's CRABS ARE AN OLD PROBLEM

4 comments:

Rickey Henderson said...

He's a true Yankee alright.

Schmutz said...

Ha, that's a good one, Ricker!

Parkes said...

He's getting some good depth in that picture too. That's not just a casual scratch. That's digging deep.

Anonymous said...

Brandon Inge of the Tigers grabs himself more than anyone. Try googling his pics or checking on Flickr - seems like every picture of him is a grab. He even grabbed himself immediately after hitting a grand slam last year.