Tuesday, May 01, 2007

¡Hasta la Victoria Siempre!

Today is the real labor day, and we have some riveting matchups coming down the pipe -- Greinke vs. Colon, Javier Vazquez vs. Washburn, Blanton v. Shilling -- but nowhere is a more intense focal point than the Diamondbacks/Dodgers matchup, where they're not only battling for first place in the NL west, but they're fighting another important battle in the war over fundamental socio-econo-politico-philosopho-cultural systems.

Brad Penny facing off against Livan Hernandez might be appealing in its own right, but these men, hailing from Oklahoma and Cuba, respectively, aren't just throwing baseballs tonight in Dodger Stadium. No, they're pitching for Market-led Capitalism and Revolutionary Marxist-Leninist-Soviet Communism and the winner takes a date on the dangerous end of Vin Scully's microphone.

In Havana, the fans are filling the streets. They're handing out press credentials like the media office at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. This is a big day, and it merits a little bit of song, and recognition of a fabulous lineup of Latin American baseball heroes.

What's a beisbol clubhouse without a cutup? This is just Hugo being Hugo. He's a former paratrooper and thus a gifted athlete with a lot of pep. He's particularly excited to play today because he just got a lot richer. Thanks Exxon, Chevron and BP for sponsoring our starting first baseman, Hugo Chavez!
Who's that power hitter in the tropical weight suit pants? Why it's el Peje Lagarto, that's who. This former Mexico City mayor and presidential candidate hails from baseball crazy Tabasco, where the oil is sweet and the pelota is sweeter. A lifetime fan of the Villahermosa Olmecas, and of sabotaging Pemex wells, AMLO can put wood to leather like no other Mexican pol. A big round of applause to Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador!
Here's Mr. Tough Out, the left fielder from the Sur Sur Sur, a man who found a love of beisbol despite coming from the land of fut, Ernesto G! Che, as he's known, is a natural righty, but he's a switch hitter and does his best work from the left side of the plate. Che Guevara, everyone!
The best reliever on any planet, a man who says he's been to Cuba "at least five times," and even starred in a documentary about one of those trips, this is the game's legendary radical poet himself, Bill Lee.

El gran quesudo himself. Pitcher. Allegedly drafted by MLB back in his law school days. A big round of applause for tonight's starting righthander, your Fidel Castro!


Yuniesky said...

Eso no me parece buen chiste. El Fidel ha dado mucho apoyo al beisbol. Hasta ahora fui muy fanatico de tu sito de red, pero ahora no se'. Ademas, tengo que prepararme para Las Medias Blancas esta noche y eso interumpe mi concentracion. Porque pusiste criticas del uno de mayo? espero que no haga errores en el campo pensando en eses tonterias. Concha de la lora!

-Y. Betancourt

Chi-Wei Hu said...
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Chi-Wei Hu said...
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Chi-Wei Hu said...

Carlester, Don't forget the other important Mariners birthdays that have come and gone since your last post.

May 8:
Ricky Nelson
Steve Braun

Carlester said...

Today, in a private ceremony, I celebrated the 38th birthday of Mariners southpaw great John Cummings, owner of a 2-10 lifetime winning percentage for that fine bullclub.

How quickly we forget!

Schmutz, this Web site is mired in apathy and neglect.

Chi-Wei Hu said...

Is it strange that I felt a twinge of longing for the good old days of 3-3 fireballer Mark Huismann during that glorious 1986 Mariners season? He's 49 today.

I'll be holding a small ceremony at, you guessed it, Dahl Field later today. Come if you'd like, there'll be cupcakes and diet cola.